A left ear cleaning gone wrong (severe ear flushing by nurse/doctor on two different occasions and the use of antibiotics by the doctor when he should have not ...) has put a stop on my life 4 months ago. My left ear started with high pitched tinnitus when a nurse attempted to flush it several times, the high pitch turned into cricket/ringing/squeeking sound when an ER doctor tried to flush it again and put antibiotics. Now I am suffering from tinnitus on both ears and I suspected it was due to the antibiotics since my right ear followed even if I didn't have it touched.

One incident has put a stop on my life and I think I have exhausted every information on the Internet, even 'miracle healing' which can heal cancer and all sorts of pain, but not tinnitus.

My tinnitus is accompanied by hearing distortion so music to me is painful ... the more instruments that are playing in a music, the more distorted it sounds to me.

Millions of people have tinnitus, I feel so alone that I both have tinnitus and distortion so I cannot even use the television or radio to mask my tinnitus.

I have stopped working for almost 4 months now and have cried days and night. Other sounds makes the ringing louder (car, computer, refrigerator) which makes it harder for me to cope.

I often feel of giving up and overdosing from the meds I am prescribed to cope up with panic attack and anxiety. I feel like a walking zombie now. I am shocked that I have trusted the nurse and the doctor to take care of me and yet, they turned me into a tragedy.

I have seen 3 different specialists after that and they basically all told me that result of hearing test is normal and they're not sure where the ringing sound is coming from.

I am only 33 and I feel lifeless. I feel like chronic tinnitus with distortion is one of the worst thing that can happen to a human being. It's like being tortured night and day. I feel desperate and alone. I want to be healed.

Before this happened, I am simple and was full of joy and living life to the fullest. I was very positive and optimistic and can smile whatever problem I have ... but I didn't know about tinnitus with distortion then. Now that I have those, I am not sure how to live anymore. I don't know how to look forward joyfully to the future. It feels like I'm just waiting to die.

You must stop self pitying.

Start to think positive thoughts and not '' I am only 33 and I feel lifeless. I feel like chronic tinnitus with distortion is one of the worst thing that can happen to a human being....''

Now is it constant or fluctuating?

You dont know whether it will go on forever, it may not. But the point is even if it does you dont know how things will be in the future.

People learn to cope.

But at this stage stop being so negative.

You're definitley not alone with this, I hope you can find comfort in that!

Try to spend lots of time with friends and family and keep busy all the time, I found that whenever I was alone all I would think about was tinnitus and I would start to get really negative.

I really hope things get better for you soon.

Firstly, the person who replied first, is not very sensitive, so please try and be a bit more sympathetic and not sound like a typical emotionless doctor here. I am assuming you've never suffered from Tinnitus and Distortion?

To J,
I agree with Simone though, try and find things to keep busy and spent a lot of time with people, (but avoid anywhere loud).

Severe flushing or overenthusiastic flushing is what caused tinnitus in my right ear. This process has been banned in USA now (because it causes tinnitus) whilst in UK they are still using it here. I have my ears flushed here but softly with a piece of equipment called a "pulse machine". It irrigates the ear gently, with low pressure, so it's not dangerous like a doctor with a syringe, as it's controlled.

4 months ago...hmm, I would say to have an x-ray or cat scan if you can, and go back to see a specialist, because the distortion part of your tinnitus sounds strange and you need to emphasise this to doctors, because I think a tinnitus which you cannot mask using sound must be truly horrible.

There is an antidepressant called Zoloft, which you can try to find....people in sweden did a research and found that it decreased the level of their tinnitus. significantly, this may help. In the meantime, try and spent time away from loud sounds, and use olive oil drops to "clean" your ears for about a week, and see if it improves. Also see another doctor, and get your eardrums inspected, as it sounds like some physical rupturing might have occurred, possibly damage to eardrum. If you can, go to a separate doctor or hospital for an independent view.

Above all, hang in there and believe that things will get better, and try and distract yourself from you t as much as possible. You are not alone, though this can make you feel it (and almost believe it)...don't let it.

M

I agree with Violetdusk - posting things alone the lines of 'pull yourself together' is not helpful at all and shows a clear lack of insight into tinnitus distress.

Dear J,
I was 30 when I first got T. Now over a year on I've kind of learnt to accept it and it doesn't worry me as much. Sure I still hear, but it's become a part of me. I think that the same will be for you in time. But it takes time, sometimes a couple of years even, sometimes longer, sometimes less.

I found tinnitus.org very helpful and am doing TRT aswell. They give you these little whitenoise generators to wear on your ears aswell and these do help the brain to tune out - it's kind of like training the brain to ignore the T. It does really work. It has for me anyhow.

You mentioned distortion, do certain sounds physically hurt? I'm not a doctor, but it could be hyperacusis or something related. Hyperacusis responds to whitenoise therapy very well. I've known of several folks who recovered from hyperacusis using whitenoise - but it's important to have proper counselling aswell in conjunction.

I'm sorry you're suffering at the moment, but please know that things *will* get better. Some people even report that their T got better over time - eg it got quieter. Some people's just stayed the same, but they got so used to it, they no longer hear it, unless they listen for it.

If you're having trouble sleeping (I did initially), try getting hold of a bedside sound generator. You don't have to play it loud or anything, just softly and it'll help you relax.

My hearing is also normal aswell, J. The truth is doctors (ENTs) don't know anything much about tinnitus - it's not their area, unless they can find a physical cause such as wax or infection. Tinnitus is actually a brain thing really... If you got to the BTA website they have some info on some of the research that is being done and there is some PET/MRI images to look at. It's very interesting.

Your best bet is to get referred to an audiology clinic that does habituation based therapy. Go see a doctor (GP) and ask to get referred to a tinnitus clinic or an audiologist who knows about T in your area. Most hospitals have some 'tinnitus people' in them these days that can help you.

The important thing is to calm your reaction and this is going to take time, and I know it's not easy, but you'll get there eventually.

Look after yourself and remember that you're most definitely not alone, tinnitus is very common and affects at the very least 10% of the population here in the UK (I'm not sure where you're from, but that should give you some idea of how common it is).

Give yourself time to get better - things will improve. Believe me they will!

Take care,
C xx

"I often feel of giving up and overdosing from the meds I am prescribed to cope up with panic attack and anxiety. I feel like a walking zombie now. I am shocked that I have trusted the nurse and the doctor to take care of me and yet, they turned me into a tragedy."

Please don't do anything rash, J. I do understand where you're coming from, I felt suicidal when this first happened to me. I panicked and felt like my whole world had collapsed around me. I honestly no longer feel this way. It faded overtime, and trust me, it'll will fade for you too.

Hugs,
C x

PS I'm wondering why you had to have such intense cleaning done on your ears - why was this?

Actually I have suffered from it Violetdusk. In fact I still am suffering now as i type this.

But the bottom line is there is no cure.

and complaining about it is pointless.

It isnt pleasant but it is entirely true to say we must live with it either temporarily or forever.
Theres no point beating around the bush.

Its hypocritical celeste to say I am being unhelpful etc then saying that it will get better and offer false hope. Nobody can guarantee anything.

I was also told things would get better and they really havent.

Sorry about your situation it sounds very bad, but there are other people in worse conditions.
My advise is try not to dispair, talk to the people you trust, seek emotonal help. I lost all my hopes and faith when this happened to me 15 years ago. Yes i wanted to kill my self, life was wothless. it was very difficult for me i was 15, it was the doctor's fault too. Prepare for many changes, life is not going to be the same but don't concentrate on the bad things, try to adapt. You are another person with Tinnitus and in the background of my mind i know there is a cure to be found soon. I want the best for you. Xanax is good too.

I do try to spend time with family and friends but the odd feeling is that when I'm around people, I still can hear the T and Distortion and miss my 'old' self as I see everyone smiling, laughing, enjoying life. I was a simple and joyful person before T&D, now that joy has been replaced with fear.

I've seen councillors and psychiatrists but they are not helping me at all. I'd rather talk to family and friends.

The timing of it all has added to my tragic experience. I'm at the height of my career, bought a house with partner, parents retiring. When this happened to me, everything fell apart starting with the job. I will try to get back to work again but now my confidence and self-esteem has been replaced with depression and fear.

I had a CAT scan already but that came out negative. People in the US are somehow lucky that flushing has been banned there. I'm from Canada and they are using it here everywhere. I've seen many doctors and specialists after my ear has been finally cleaned by an ENT but they didn't find anything wrong with the eardrum.

I did my own exhaustive research of my symptoms and it seems that the distortion is from a Sensorineural Hearing Loss (SHL) that occurs when there is damage to the inner ear. Conductive hearing loss is a reduction of sound level. SHL can be caused by trauma and injury which I think is from syringing and also from which I think is from the antibiotic.

My last ENT told me to stop thinking or worrying about the T&D and TRT will just remind of T as well. He adviced that I go back in 3 months for TRT if it is still bothering me. I don't think I have Hyperacusis. Speech is ok but the 's' sounds distorted like 'szzzzz' and when I listen to music, it seems like listening to a radio that is not properly tuned. It doesn't hurt to hear, what I feel is distress from the distortion.

I really hope things get better. I wasn't very religious before but I do pray and thank for my life. Now, the T&D is really making me question my faith, at the same time, I've searched many 'miracle healing' from the internet and have sent many prayer requests. I'm desperate. I want to live, but not like this.

Using QTips has blocked my ear and the nurse just really tried to flush it out so many times without success. She should have adviced me to go home first to put more oil instead of forcing the flushing. The high pitched started that night. After two weeks I went to ER due to the ringing, and I told the ER doctor the entire story, but then he just flushed it more and put antibiotics. I told him I didn't want it flushed anymore ... I said "NO", just give me referral to ENT, but somehow he convinced me that he knew what he was doing and I said "OK" .. that change of answer has ruined my life. I wish I trusted myself more than the doctor.

I'm being hypocritical?!!?!! - Well pardon me for trying to offer some help to someone. I don't come on here very often and now I can see why that is. Infact I'm not posting on here again. Everytime I come on here I get slated for having an 'opinion'.

And you're being hypocritical for saying stuff like "stop being so negative" when your last response clearly comes across as very negative.

You can post what the hell you like in response to this.I will not be responding to anything, I'm guessing you'll try and slate me again, but I won't be here. I don't need to be here.

Nuff said, Goodbye.