RNID: For deaf and hard of hearing people.

This factsheet is part of RNID’s tinnitus range. It is written for people who have tinnitus, their families, friends and the professionals who work with them.
Tinnitus is a medical term to describe noise(s) that people can hear in one ear, both ears or in the head – such as ringing, buzzing or whistling. The sounds heard can vary from person to person, but the common link is that they do not have an external source.

If you would like this factsheet on audio tape, in Braille or in large print, please contact our Information Line.

In this factsheet you can find out:

At the end of this factsheet, we give you details of organisations you can contact for further information.

Medical disclaimer

The information given in this factsheet is not medical advice and by providing it neither RNID nor our tinnitus and medical advisors undertake any responsibility for your medical care, nor accept you as a patient. Before acting on any of the information contained in this factsheet, or deciding on a course of treatment, you should discuss the matter with your GP (family doctor) or other medical professional who is treating you.

What does tinnitus sound like?

Tinnitus sounds can take a variety of forms such as buzzing, ringing, whistling, hissing or a range of other sounds. For some people, it can even sound like music or singing (see our factsheet Musical hallucinations).

Sometimes people only notice these sounds when it is very quiet, such as at night. Other people find that they are much louder and can intrude on everyday life. Sometimes the tinnitus noise can beat in time with a person’s pulse. This is called pulsatile tinnitus (see our factsheet Pulsatile tinnitus).

What can trigger or aggravate tinnitus?

There are many different factors. We know that tinnitus can be triggered or aggravated by one, or a combination, of the following:

  • exposure to loud noise
  • hearing loss
  • ear or head injuries
  • some diseases of the ear
  • ear infections
  • emotional/psychological stress
  • side-effects of medication.

Many people with tinnitus have never experienced any of the above and don’t have a hearing loss. There are several theories and continuing research as to what happens when a person has tinnitus. For more information, see our leaflet Tune out tinnitus.

Does tinnitus cause the same difficulties for everyone?

No. Everyone responds to tinnitus in their own way. Two people who both have tinnitus at the same ‘loudness’ might react to it very differently. One person might find it completely manageable, while another might find it highly distressing. Like pain, tinnitus causes different reactions in different people, and is very hard to compare and measure.

However, any difficulties your partner might face fall into two categories:

  • psychological/emotional difficulties
  • practical difficulties.

These difficulties are often at their worst when a person first develops tinnitus, although they can be experienced at any stage. Over time, and with your support, all these difficulties can be managed and often overcome.

What psychological and emotional difficulties might my partner face?

Although reactions to tinnitus vary from person to person, the most common (listed alphabetically) can include:

  • Anger. Your partner may feel angry that they have got tinnitus. As with other conditions and illnesses, they may feel a sense of unfairness or victimisation summed up by the phrase, ‘Why me?’
  • Anxiety/fear. Tinnitus can cause anxiety by its constant presence. It can also make people anxious about their physical and mental health. Your partner may fall into a common cycle whereby their anxiety and tinnitus make each other worse. They may also fear that their tinnitus is a symptom of another illness, or that it will affect their quality of life. (For more information on how to reduce anxiety, see our factsheet Tinnitus and relaxation.)
  • Depression. Depression can be an emotional consequence of many long-term physical conditions and illnesses. However, the nature and origin of depression can be complex and may have causes other than the tinnitus alone.
  • Guilt/self-blame. Your partner may feel guilty about being unable to cope with their tinnitus or about the strain it puts on marital/family relationships. The knowledge that tinnitus is not life-threatening can also be a source of guilt – your partner might think, ‘How can I fail to cope with something like this when some people have to cope with more serious illnesses?’ Your partner might also think their tinnitus is self-inflicted and blame themselves – for going to a loud music concert, for example, or allowing themselves to get so stressed at work (thereby, in their minds, ‘bringing on’ their tinnitus, or making it worse). Such self-blame can be an additional source of guilt.

Other reactions to tinnitus can include:

  • Confusion. Your partner may feel confused as to how they developed tinnitus, saying such things as ‘But my hearing is fine’ or ‘But I never go to nightclubs’. This is a common reaction, especially as tinnitus can develop for no apparent reason.
  • Feelings of loss. Your partner may react this way if they used to place great value on silence. Feelings of loss can also deepen frustration.
  • Frustration. Your partner may feel frustrated that they cannot ‘escape’ their tinnitus or get rid of it. This frustration might make them feel irritable and give them ‘a shorter fuse’ than usual. They may also feel frustrated that there is, as yet, no cure for tinnitus.
  • Isolation. Your partner may feel isolated and lonely because they feel that nobody else understands what they are going through – or that nobody else is going through anything similar.
  • Stress. Your partner may find that their tinnitus makes them feel stressed, which makes their tinnitus more noticeable.

Your partner may experience all of these reactions, some of them, or none of them. They may have reactions that are not listed above. There is no right or wrong way to respond to tinnitus – all reactions are personal and therefore valid. What is crucial is that you accept and respond sensitively to whatever your partner may be feeling.

What can I do to help?

Practical help

Perhaps the single most important thing you can do is to encourage your partner to visit their GP, who will check that your partner’s ears are free of wax and infection. The GP may refer them to the ear, nose and throat (ENT) department at your local hospital. An ENT consultant will be able to give you and your partner advice and information about tinnitus, including possible causes.

If your partner’s GP does not refer them and the tinnitus does not get any better, encourage them to return to their GP and ask for a referral.

The ENT consultant may arrange for your partner to have a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan or a computerised tomography (CT) scan. These are normally done to make sure that the tinnitus is not a symptom of an underlying illness. MRI and CT scans are precautionary, routine and painless. They do not indicate that the consultant believes that something is seriously wrong with your partner. However, they can be noisy, so it would be worth your partner inquiring whether earplugs or earmuffs are available.

The consultant may recommend that your partner attend a tinnitus clinic, if there is one in your area. These are usually run by audiologists, hearing therapists and sometimes psychologists. They offer a range of different treatments, including counselling, sound enrichment, tinnitus retraining therapy (TRT), cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and relaxation.. For more information on possible treatments, see our factsheet Therapies to help with your tinnitus.

If your partner has some hearing loss in addition to their tinnitus, you could encourage them to consider getting a hearing aid. Many people have found hearing aids to be helpful in dealing with tinnitus because they amplify surrounding noise and ‘distract’ the brain from the tinnitus sounds. If your partner has been referred to a tinnitus clinic, this will be considered as part of the treatment process.

Emotional help

Your partner may find that visits to their GP, ENT consultant or hearing therapist make them feel anxious. For this reason, you could offer to accompany them or meet them before or after their visits. A little moral support can go a long way. Even if your partner chooses to go alone, offering to accompany them is a good way to show your care and concern.

It is likely that your partner will be given a great deal of information at these visits, not all of which they remember. If there are two of you present, you are likely to come away much better informed. You will also find out how you can best help your partner by understanding more about tinnitus yourself.

On a day-to-day basis, it is vital that you are always supportive and understanding, irrespective of whether your partner has just developed tinnitus or has lived with it for some time. Simply allowing your partner to speak freely about their difficulties can bring them enormous relief and may even make their tinnitus seem ‘quieter’.

Although you might feel a natural urge to ‘be positive’ or ‘cheer your partner up’, contradicting or denying what your partner is feeling – with phrases such as ‘Don’t be so negative’ – is not always the best approach. Such responses, however well meaning, can unintentionally deepen the isolation and frustration your partner might be experiencing. You may find that sympathetically accepting what your partner says is the best way to ‘validate’ and respect their feelings.

On the other hand, it is probably best not to ask them about their tinnitus all the time, as this will keep drawing their attention to it. Try to keep a balance and ask them how you could help them.

Many people find attending a tinnitus support group useful. There are about 140 of these around the UK. Most of these groups are affiliated to the British Tinnitus Association (BTA). They tend to meet up once a month and often include a talk on a tinnitus-related issue. Some groups offer a helpline number and many produce their own newsletter. Details of local tinnitus clinics and support groups can be obtained from the RNID Tinnitus Helpline.

If your partner does not find a support group useful, and you feel unable to provide all the support your partner needs, professional help is worth considering. Getting your partner a referral to a local tinnitus clinic can be very positive because counselling can often help someone come to terms with their tinnitus.

You may also wish to explore the option of private counselling for your partner. Be sure to look for a counsellor who is fully qualified and registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). It may help if the counsellor has some knowledge of tinnitus and its effects on people. For more information on counselling, see our factsheet Therapies to help with your tinnitus.

What practical difficulties might my partner face?

Despite the variety of responses to tinnitus, evidence shows that some people do experience similar difficulties, including:

  • difficulty sleeping
  • difficulty relaxing
  • difficulty with sound sensitivity (hyperacusis).

Difficulty sleeping

About half the people who are troubled by their tinnitus sleep poorly. The other half sleep very well. How loud the tinnitus is, or what it sounds like, do not seem to make a difference to whether it troubles people or not. The degree to which tinnitus disturbs sleep depends on how that particular individual responds to their tinnitus.

What can I do to help?

If your partner is one of those who does have trouble sleeping, you could suggest they try relaxation exercises to ‘wind down’ properly before going to bed. You could also suggest they try a bedside noise generator, which produces soothing sounds to distract them from listening to the tinnitus and help them get to sleep. For more information, see our factsheets Tinnitus and sleep and Equipment sound therapy and tinnitus.

If your partner has difficulty sleeping because of their tinnitus, and you share the same bed, you might find that your own sleep is disturbed. Your partner may be restless, for example, or get up frequently during the night. They might also like to fall asleep with a television or radio on, as external noises can be a welcome distraction from their tinnitus and help them relax. If such noise is a problem for you, you could buy your partner a pillow speaker. These are ‘private’ noise generators that can provide relief for your partner without disturbing your own sleep. They can be ordered from our Solutions catalogue (see Where can I buy products that may help?).

If you find your own sleep affected because of your partner’s tinnitus, it is important that you discuss the problem openly and seek practical solutions together. Although some tensions are inevitable, try not to get angry with your partner or start ‘blaming’ them, as they are likely to be as tired and frustrated as you are, if not more so. Arguments, especially in the early hours, will only create stress for both of you and make the situation worse.

Difficulty relaxing

We know that stress can make tinnitus worse. Your partner may have difficulty relaxing because of tinnitus-related stress.

Cycle of stress and tinnitus

Many people notice their tinnitus more when they are anxious or tired, which in turn increases their stress and anxiety – and makes them focus on their tinnitus even more. In this way, a cycle of stress and tinnitus can arise.

What can I do to help?

Encouraging your partner to relax will help break this cycle. You can also help your partner monitor their stress levels and urge them to change a situation or activity where possible (for example, driving in rush-hour traffic) if you think it is making their stress, and therefore their tinnitus, worse.

There are many ways that your partner could reduce their stress levels:

  • make changes to their lifestyle. This can be done through an improved diet or introducing exercise into their daily or weekly routine.
  • improve their general health
  • try complementary therapies, such as acupuncture and homeopathy
  • use sound therapy, such as noise generators and relaxation CDs.

For more information, see our factsheets Complementary therapies and tinnitus, Equipment sound therapy and tinnitus and Tinnitus and relaxation.

Difficulty with sound sensitivity (hyperacusis)

About 40% of people who have tinnitus also have hyperacusis, which means they are more sensitive than normal to everyday sounds. Your partner may find sound in general – or just certain sounds – uncomfortable or painfully loud, even when they don’t bother other people.

What can I do to help?

If your partner develops hyperacusis, encourage them to consult their GP and ask for a referral to an ENT consultant. Tinnitus clinics can also help with hyperacusis. You could also discuss with your partner which domestic sounds they find uncomfortable – such as the clinking of plates while washing up – and try to keep these sounds to a minimum in their presence.

For more information, see our factsheet Hyperacusis.

Where can I buy products that may help?

RNID Products sells a range of equipment for people with hearing loss and tinnitus. Visit the RNID Shop at www.rnid.org.uk/tinnitusproducts (external link) to buy items of equipment online. Alternatively, you can request a copy of the Solutions catalogue by contacting RNID Products directly or by contacting RNID Tinnitus Helpline.

RNID Products, 1 Haddonbrook Business Centre, Orton Southgate, Peterborough PE2 6YX
Telephone: 01733 361199
Textphone: 01733 238020
Fax: 0870 789 8822
Email: solutions@rnid.org.uk  
RNID Shop website (external link, opens new browser window)

Where can I get further information?

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)

BACP can provide a list of counsellors in your area.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), 1 Regent Place, Rugby CV21 2PJ
Telephone: 0870 443 5252
Textphone: 0870 443 5162
Fax: 0870 443 5161
Email: bacp@bacp.co.uk   
BACP website (external link, opens new browser window)

British Tinnitus Association (BTA)

The BTA campaigns for better services for people with tinnitus. It supports a network of local tinnitus groups around the country, has a range of publications and produces a quarterly magazine, Quiet.

British Tinnitus Association (BTA), Ground Floor, Unit 5, Acorn Business Park, Woodseats Close, Sheffield S8 0TB
Telephone: 0800 018 0527
Textphone: 0114 258 5694
Fax: 0114 258 7059
Email: info@tinnitus.org.uk   
BTA website (external link, opens new browser window)

Hush

Hush is the name of the Hull tinnitus self-help group. They run a helpline and produce information and tapes for people with tinnitus.

Hush, 109 Southella Way, Kirkella, Hull HU10 7LZ
Telephone: 01482 656033
Email: hush@btinternet.com   
Hush website (external link, opens new browser window)

Contact a local group

If you feel you need more help with tinnitus directly from other people who also have it, you could contact a local tinnitus support group. They are set up and run by people with the condition or by professionals who work with tinnitus patients. The type of support and help they are able to offer varies between groups. Contact RNID Tinnitus Helpline for details of your nearest group.

Further information from RNID Tinnitus Helpline

RNID Tinnitus Helpline offers information and advice to people with tinnitus, their families and friends, and the professionals who work with them. You can contact us for further copies of this factsheet and the full range of our products for people with tinnitus. We also sell a book, "Understanding tinnitus – managing the noises in your ears or in your head", and a range of relaxation CDs and cassettes.

RNID Tinnitus Helpline

19-23 Featherstone Street, London EC1Y 8SL
Telephone: 0808 808 6666
Textphone: 0808 808 0007
Fax: 020 7296 8199
SMS: 0780 0000 360 (supported by Lloyds TSB)
Email: tinnitushelpline@rnid.org.uk   
Tune out tinnitus website (external link, opens new browser window)
Available Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm

Acknowledgement

We thank Catriona Williamson, Hearing Therapist, King Edward VII Hospital, Windsor, Berkshire East PCT, for her generous and expert assistance with this factsheet.